The Unoffendable’s Podcast
Bottling Farts Aint A Walk In The Park, Patton Oswalt Apologizes For Being A Friend, US Postal Worker Steals Gift Cards Out Of Christmas Cards

Bottling Farts Aint A Walk In The Park, Patton Oswalt Apologizes For Being A Friend, US Postal Worker Steals Gift Cards Out Of Christmas Cards

January 27, 2022

Kenny and James start off the show with a discussion on the Mike Burkholder / Lorena Gonzalez t-shirt reveal and how little of a reaction Mike gave in studio. We think he was saving his reaction for a more private and intimate setting, however. Then we roll into The Fart Jar-er, Stephanie Matto, and how she's been experiencing some work-related pressure. Patton Oswalt is allowed to do a set at a show for Dave Chappelle, takes a picture afterward and apologizes for committing such a heinous crime. A US Postal worker cracks open some Christmas cards to get some of those sweet-sweet cash (or gift cards). Of course, we ramble on and eventually come up to OCDs to discuss the truly important topics in life.

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OCDs

Kenny’s Vacation Ends, James Sneaks Out Of The House and The Unoffendable Makes A Triumphant Return

Kenny’s Vacation Ends, James Sneaks Out Of The House and The Unoffendable Makes A Triumphant Return

December 23, 2021

Kenny and James return to the studio to discuss more unruly and unusual behavior in the world.  If someone offered to sell you a jar of their farts, how much would YOU pay? What is a fiscally responsible bank robber? How does James manage to gross out Kenny, a feat that some might say is impossible when we're talking about someone like Kenny. We're happy as hell to be back and hope you enjoy this episode.  Please like, subscribe and share and we'll see you all next week.

Articles from the show:

 

Offendable, Commendable, Defendable:

  • Mounds/Almond Joy
  • Pie Crust
  • Everything Bagel
  • Mangos
  • Handicapped spaces at Lowe's or Home Depot
Kenny And James Don Their Misogynist Hats And Travel Back To 1950 To Learn How Women Could Be Better Wives

Kenny And James Don Their Misogynist Hats And Travel Back To 1950 To Learn How Women Could Be Better Wives

November 17, 2021

Kenny and James crush this episode by examining a list from a bygone era that taught women how to be good wives.  You might be surprised at how Kenny reacted.  The two unchaperoned gents waxed poetic and filled this episode with movie references from "The Karate Kid" (the Jaden Smith one) to "12 Monkeys" to "Dude Where's My Car" as they discussed a Brazillian fella who is a nominee for Worst Luck of the Year.  Joe Biden calls Satchell Paige a negro...or did he? Covid-19 manages to find the unlikeliest of hosts...although we're not sure how.  Plus, maybe one of the most animated rounds of OCDs to date.  Oh yeah, and of course some Kyle Rittenhouse thrown in for good measure.

 

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Offendable, Commendable or Defendable (OCDs)

  • Tom MacDonald's latest song "Balloons"
  • Ground beef, ordered rare
  • Fresh fruit on/in cereal
  • Fast food workers
  • Music listening habits of teenagers
Eating At Six Flags Helps Erase Student Loan, Teens Lap Dance School Faculty…Not Weird At All, and Joe Biden Makes A(nother) Policy Mistake

Eating At Six Flags Helps Erase Student Loan, Teens Lap Dance School Faculty…Not Weird At All, and Joe Biden Makes A(nother) Policy Mistake

November 3, 2021

Kenny and James do yeoman's work in handling the news of the weird and deranged without Mike's help. Where is this guy? Has he become...DUN DUN DUN....Offendable? We doubt it, but have to give him crap for another absence.  In unrelated topics, James and Kenny talk about homemade popcorn preparation, the comedy of Sinbad and Bob Sagat and how Hallmark can improve upon their already solid product. Here's a hint: fewer clothes.  The two reveal how one man used Six Flags to erase his student loans, how one man saved himself from a bear, In-N-Out is cordially invited to move to Florida and so much more. 

Have a listen, we'll love you for it. We'll love you if you don't, but just not as much...and who wants that?

 

Articles From The Show:

 

Offendable, Commedable or Defendable:

  • Soccer
  • Sparkling Water
  • Making The Bed
  • Kid Rock's "Bawitdaba"
  • Meat Lover's Pizza
Two Unrelated Pringles Make A Podcast Baby That Will Tell Us Its Gender When It Decides On What It Is

Two Unrelated Pringles Make A Podcast Baby That Will Tell Us Its Gender When It Decides On What It Is

October 12, 2021

No Mike and no Kenny this week so James fills a seat with good, unrelated friend, Kevin Pringle.  No stranger to the microphone, Kevin drove an hour to the studio to give his two cents on fugitives attending Dodger games (aren't those just called Dodger fans, though?), ESPN anchor, Sage Steele is booted from ESPN amid controversial topics regarding Covid-19 and Barack Obama, as well as a man who developed an unusual compulsion to eat sharp objects after trying to go sober.  Prior to that, we get to know Kevin a little bit so hang with us because we do get to the normal Unoffendable topics you're used to. Also, fair warning, put on your Unoffendable seatbelt because it might be a wild ride. Kevin is unflinchingly honest, which is a great offset to my hemming and hawing.  

As always, we thank you like crazy for listening and love your support.

 

Articles From The Show:

 

Offendable, Defendable, Commendable:

  • The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland
  • Pineapple on pizza
  • James Bond becoming Jane Bond
  • Women driving with men riding shotgun

 

 

Kenny and James blah blah blah Discuss A New Covid Symptom blah blah blah, Hypocrisy Of The Left blah blah blah, And Yes, Greta blah blah blah Thunberg

Kenny and James blah blah blah Discuss A New Covid Symptom blah blah blah, Hypocrisy Of The Left blah blah blah, And Yes, Greta blah blah blah Thunberg

October 5, 2021

Kenny and James wake their butts up early to record another show. In this one, we  talk about the newest and rarest of Covid symptoms. From Kenny's mind vault, we're treated to a new movie for our watch list in a movie from the 1930s, "Freaks". We also get into some 10-year late "Human Centipede" talk. We weren't podcasting then so...  James compares "Human Centipede" with "Tusk", but only in it's human-to-animal transmogrification. Out of the two, "Tusk" is probably the most easily digestible. You're welcome.

As always, the best thing that you can do for us is to, of course, subscribe on whatever method you listen to the show, but also, share it with friends and family you think also might like what we do. 

Thank you for listening and we'll see you next week.

 

Articles From The Show:

 

Offendable, Commendable, Defendable Topics:

  • Disparity between men and women and poop/butt jokes
  • Unfair football stats
  • Teenagers
  • The phrase "no muss, no fuss"
  • Toxic Masculinity
  • Movies Mentioned From The Show:

Mike Returns To Discuss Cornhole (the dirty kind), Scandinavian Teens Get Creative With Nicotine Pouches, The World‘s Whitest Paint and more!

Mike Returns To Discuss Cornhole (the dirty kind), Scandinavian Teens Get Creative With Nicotine Pouches, The World‘s Whitest Paint and more!

September 28, 2021

In this episode, we talk about public schools allowing sexually explicit books in the library. Is this acceptable? Or is one Texas mom justified in berating the school board?  Scandinavian teens are sticking nicotine pouches in places that are not normal for such items. Kenny says that they're sticking them in their ant eaters. Find out what THAT is.  Pavarotti drinks alcohol with his butt? No, but some opera singers do. Can the whitest paint ever made cool a house better than an air conditioner?  One woman in Florida has the worst kind of luck.  E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial...IS A JEDI?!?!? And find out what Kenny does when he hears an Amber Alert.

Finally, James and Kenny engage in another round of OCDs among other tangents that aren't necessarily safe for work. 

Articles From the Show:

 

OCDs For the Week (Offendable, Commendable or Defendable)

  • People who say they're too busy/other people have too much time on their hands
  • A-hole drivers who flip YOU off after you honk at them
  • Amber Alerts
  • Bicyclists
  • Hallucinogenics

As always, thank you for listening. If you haven't already, please like, subscribe and share. And not just in that order. Sharing it is probably the most important thing you can do as it helps spread it to more people. 

 

Kenny, James and Two of the Specialest of Guests in Another Burkholder-less Episode

Kenny, James and Two of the Specialest of Guests in Another Burkholder-less Episode

September 21, 2021

Not by design, but Mike being the good dad that he is, spent the day with his kids while Kenny and James ignored their own family. Mike must get really good Father's Day gifts.  But those gifts can go screw because we had two gifts of our own as we had a special guest host as well as a phone call from a familiar voice. 

The Unoffendable start off with James breaking down his Disneyland Magic Moment.  Turns out maybe it *wasn't* as magic as previously thought?  Drone technology is really improving as a drone delivered a special package to an unsuspecting High School.  We then naturally transition to the idea that aliens might live among us but as a creature that we all know and like, if not love. Gambling comes up a bit as Kenny talks about his upcoming trip to Adult Disneyland, followed by someone who reached for pizza rolls and grabbed something far more foul and disgusting.  

This episode is more stream of consciousness, but that's not a bad thing, we think. Or at least, we hope. 

 

Articles From the Show:

OCDs for the Week:

  • Abbreviating words e.g. 4 for 'for', U for 'you', etc...
  • Jordans
  • Deleting Cookies as a computer fix
  • Maybelline
  • Jack in the Box Tacos 

 

 

Fantasy Football (just a little), Expensive  and Woke Teachers Gone Wild plus an animated round of OCDs

Fantasy Football (just a little), Expensive and Woke Teachers Gone Wild plus an animated round of OCDs

September 8, 2021
The Unoffendable get together for another week with no one to limit their shenanigans as Mike was missing in action. We're not sure if he was still stuck in the toilet, but we know he's okay because he drafted in our inaugural fantasy football draft. Speaking of that, we discuss some fantasy football...kinda. We eloquently tell the tale of a 43 year old man who sued his parents for throwing out his porn collection. We shine a spotlight on some of the dangers in schools today as woke teachers continue to indoctrinate their students.  Ashli Babbit, 14-year Air Force veteran and Capital building rioter, was shot and killed in the January 6th riots. The officer who shot her has been exonerated, and even though his rationale is the same as just about every police shooting, there is no media backlash. Seems odd.
 
OCDs for the week:
Teenagers who wear Bob Marley Shirts
Crock Pots
Instant Pots
Children with cell phones
Fake food recipes
 
Finally, we've done something a little different with this episode. Give it a listen and drop us some feedback. Do you like it? Do you hate it? Do you want more? This goes for any episode, really. We want to make it the best that we can and your opinions can make that happen. 
 
Please don't forget to spread the word. If you like what you're doing, the best thing that you can do is to share this show with someone you know.  The more this gets out there, the easier it is to make more as well as helping some of the scripted things come to life. We appreciate the hell of out you all for listening during this time and we hope you enjoy this episode. 
James and Kenny Unsupervised Talking Pineapple Express and Shock Value Topics

James and Kenny Unsupervised Talking Pineapple Express and Shock Value Topics

August 31, 2021

The Unoffendable play this week minus one with Mike out with an injured labia.  Kenny and James discuss the private military group known as the Pineapple Express, who has single-handedly rescued 500 Americans in Afghanistan. Kenny predicts when our next earthquake might happen. We highlight a lonely sap who found an alternative to dating sites. We close with a discussion on how to handle the lost jobs from Elon Musk's robot work force.

 

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